Week 4 has arrived. We're nearing the halfway point, which I had excitedly thought would be Wednesday of this week until I realized halfway won't officially be until the Wednesday of week 5. Still, it's close. Time seems to fly by and stand still all at the same time here. It's pretty crazy to think that only a month ago I was getting ready to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, and now here I am. Where did those weeks go? But at the same time, when you're holding triangle for what seems like a year, time doesn't seem to be moving very fast at all. Last week, which was rough for a lot of people as posture clinics and anatomy started and we're all starting to get a bit overwhelmed and stressed out, one of the visiting teachers reminded us of just how it felt as we were getting ready to come here. We all left our friends and families, took time off work, and saved money to be here. It brought tears to my eyes to think of how excited I was to be coming to training, knowing that I'm here now and it's all happening. I try to remind myself of that now whenever things get tough.
With today being Thanksgiving back at home, I can't help but think about all that I'm thankful for. It all boils down to the people in my life. I feel so much love and support from everyone - from all the amazing people I've met here to everyone at home that has been thinking of me and sending me encouragement. I'm thankful for my parents, because I definitely wouldn't be here without them. I'm also so thankful for Cheryl, who prepared me mentally to be here. I see so many people struggling, and I'm so grateful I had someone to push me to learn the dialogue before I got here. And last but definitely not least, I'm thankful for my roommate, Sarah. I hear people complaining about their roommates, or hear horror stories about roommate drama, but I couldn't be happier with mine. Everyone here has been so supportive and we all look out for one another. That was made especially clear this past weekend when I got a flat tire pulling into the laundromat. There were a group of people from training there, and I guess they saw what happened because two wonderful yogis, Brian and Chelsea, came to my rescue and changed my tire for me. I realized that we really are like a big family here... there's always someone looking out for you, everywhere you turn. I'm thankful for the all the people in my life, the ones that have come and gone, and the ones that I've yet to meet but whom I know will touch my life in the future.
This weekend was full of activities and I had a lot of fun. On Saturday I went to the cute little town Hermosa Beach with Steph, my new Australian friend, where we each treated ourselves to a mani-pedi. It was so nice to do something relaxing after three strenuous weeks of training. Later that night I went out for Paige's birthday dinner with a group of trainees and her sister Chenoa who is visiting. I've known Paige and Chenoa since I was in elementary school, and it's pretty cool how it all worked out that we're in the same place at the same time here at training. We all had a great time at Benihana, a Japanese restaurant where they cook your food right in front of you at the table. Sunday I went on a Hollywood tour with Sarah and Jackie from training, and we finally got to see the city. It was great - we went to Venice Beach and Santa Monica, Grauman's Chinese Theater where all the celebrities hand prints are, saw the Hollywood sign, went all through Beverly Hills and saw celebrities houses, the Playboy Mansion and even the Fresh Prince of Bel Air house! Not long after we returned to the hotel we had a Canadian Thanksgiving feast that the hotel cooked for us. It wasn't quite the same as being at home, but it was nice to sit down and have a nice turkey dinner with my new yoga family.
Monday, 8 October 2012
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Try and See What You Can Do
Things are starting to become a lot more real, and I'm loving our (not so little) yoga family. After we got Friday night off and the Saturday morning class was unexpectedly cancelled, we all got to enjoy a nice relaxing weekend. Sarah and I spent a lot of time at the beach, which was wonderful. I'd missed the ocean so much. Sarah had never been to the beach before and she was like a little fish out in the waves. It was really fun, and the water was so warm - unlike at home. Now it's time to get back to business. Week two has officially started and as Boss said in class tonight, "vacation's over". The energy in the room has been getting better and better the more people get to know one another. Sometimes all you need is to catch someone's eye or see someone smiling in the mirror and you remember we're all in this together.
I'm already learning so much about the yoga, about teaching, and about life. Last week I was pretty close to the podium during one of the classes Bikram taught, and he paid especially close attention to me. Before that I felt like he couldn't see me in that sea of 443 trainees, so it was kind of nice to get some one on one attention, but pretty terrifying at the same time. He got me to stretch further than I ever have before in the stretching pose near the end of class. "Touch your forehead!" he said, to someone I knew must have been in my vicinity. Sure enough, when I looked up and we made eye contact I knew he was talking to me. So I stretched my body forward and touched my forehead with my thumbs as my fingers grasped my toes for dear life. I just did it, and it seemed so easy. "See what you can do when you know what you're doing!?" was his response.
I think the most predominant thing I've learned here so far is that it doesn't matter what you do, or even how you do it, it's how you try. Trying the right way is the only way to make any progress - in yoga and in life in general.
I'm already learning so much about the yoga, about teaching, and about life. Last week I was pretty close to the podium during one of the classes Bikram taught, and he paid especially close attention to me. Before that I felt like he couldn't see me in that sea of 443 trainees, so it was kind of nice to get some one on one attention, but pretty terrifying at the same time. He got me to stretch further than I ever have before in the stretching pose near the end of class. "Touch your forehead!" he said, to someone I knew must have been in my vicinity. Sure enough, when I looked up and we made eye contact I knew he was talking to me. So I stretched my body forward and touched my forehead with my thumbs as my fingers grasped my toes for dear life. I just did it, and it seemed so easy. "See what you can do when you know what you're doing!?" was his response.
I think the most predominant thing I've learned here so far is that it doesn't matter what you do, or even how you do it, it's how you try. Trying the right way is the only way to make any progress - in yoga and in life in general.
Saturday, 22 September 2012
The Invitation
The other day Rajashree taught our morning class and during final savasana she read us this beautiful poem. I first read this poem about a year ago and have loved it ever since. Hearing her read it here at training was pretty profound.
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It doesn't interest me what you do
for a living I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dreams for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the
accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if
you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes." It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if
you can be alone
with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. | ||||||
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Fear Cannot Be Here
Here I am, day 3 of training, 3 classes in, and I can already tell the roller coaster is just getting started. It's like when you've strapped yourself in at the start of the ride, and all of the sudden you're not so sure that you can handle what lies ahead. But at that point when things start rolling, you know you have no other choice but to relax and enjoy the ride - no matter what ups and downs you'll face. That's sort of how things are going here. Not to say that I want off the roller coaster. But that's the sort of "uh-oh" moment I face every once and a while.
Our first class last night was really tough. Not knowing what to expect - from the feel (and smell) of the carpet under your feet to the look of the massive ballroom chandelier above your head. It's surprisingly loud in there, with these big huge vacuum pipe cannons blowing hot air into the room, and the echo of the microphone with whoever's voice on the other end of it. It's so hot you can actually see the heat waves coming from the massive heater cannons. We've had Bikram teach twice, both evening classes, and Rajashree this morning. It was such a nice change to have her today - she's such a contrast from her husband. She is so loving and seems to be so genuine in her support and adoration for us all. My favourite thing she said in the class, was that "fear cannot be here". Not in the hot room, not in our hearts. Everyone seemed to be so happy following the morning class, especially after the grueling one the night before. One positive thing that did from that class though, Bikram told us we had the best first class of all teacher trainings. Don't know if I fully believe that or not but it was nice to hear.
Our first class last night was really tough. Not knowing what to expect - from the feel (and smell) of the carpet under your feet to the look of the massive ballroom chandelier above your head. It's surprisingly loud in there, with these big huge vacuum pipe cannons blowing hot air into the room, and the echo of the microphone with whoever's voice on the other end of it. It's so hot you can actually see the heat waves coming from the massive heater cannons. We've had Bikram teach twice, both evening classes, and Rajashree this morning. It was such a nice change to have her today - she's such a contrast from her husband. She is so loving and seems to be so genuine in her support and adoration for us all. My favourite thing she said in the class, was that "fear cannot be here". Not in the hot room, not in our hearts. Everyone seemed to be so happy following the morning class, especially after the grueling one the night before. One positive thing that did from that class though, Bikram told us we had the best first class of all teacher trainings. Don't know if I fully believe that or not but it was nice to hear.
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