Fear Cannot Be Here

Here I am, day 3 of training, 3 classes in, and I can already tell the roller coaster is just getting started. It's like when you've strapped yourself in at the start of the ride, and all of the sudden you're not so sure that you can handle what lies ahead. But at that point when things start rolling, you know you have no other choice but to relax and enjoy the ride - no matter what ups and downs you'll face. That's sort of how things are going here. Not to say that I want off the roller coaster. But that's the sort of "uh-oh" moment I face every once and a while.

Our first class last night was really tough. Not knowing what to expect - from the feel (and smell) of the carpet under your feet to the look of the massive ballroom chandelier above your head. It's surprisingly loud in there, with these big huge vacuum pipe cannons blowing hot air into the room, and the echo of the microphone with whoever's voice on the other end of it. It's so hot you can actually see the heat waves coming from the massive heater cannons. We've had Bikram teach twice, both evening classes, and Rajashree this morning. It was such a nice change to have her today - she's such a contrast from her husband. She is so loving and seems to be so genuine in her support and adoration for us all. My favourite thing she said in the class, was that "fear cannot be here". Not in the hot room, not in our hearts. Everyone seemed to be so happy following the morning class, especially after the grueling one the night before. One positive thing that did from that class though, Bikram told us we had the best first class of all teacher trainings. Don't know if I fully believe that or not but it was nice to hear.